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Mr. Kashchei And The 13 Prostitutes letra
"New in town? Got it all, ya´ wanna buy a gram?
Funny accent, a Russian in Amsterdam?
Looking for a job or need a place to stay?
Go see Kashei..."
What the hell, I said, how bad can it be?
And checked the address the guy gave to me
The letters were smudged, "Dead knight district"?!?
A name for a derelict...
"Zdrastvujtje! My name is Ivan
Is this the right place? I´m here to see a man
A Mr Kashchei", I was invited in
To "The House of Sin"...
Then the world exploded, the only thing I recall
Before I woke up, tied to a concrete wall
"Let me introduce myself and welcome to my club
I´m your local Beelzebub"
What am I doing here?
What in the name of a Hun
Powder all around me
Smoke that makes me dizzy
Unfamiliar devices
Women smiling tempting
Syringes injecting
Lies and pseudo paradises
Fake paradises...
While tied to the wall, Ivan, who was to naive to fathom the shit he was in, made semi-romantic moves (well, since he was tied up) on one of the girls in Kashchei´s harem. Ivan´s innocent, Irkutskian eyes made a monumental impression on the somewhat jaded girl and she rediscovered feelings she thought were dead and buried a long ago. Love was in the maruana air...
The evil Mr Kashchei and his sinister drug pushers, whom he provisioned with free dope to keep them ignorant and dumb, had settled back for a few Z´s. Meanwhile, Ivan was cut loose by his new found love and they decided it was time they leave. So did the other girls who were fed up spending time in the thick of things.
All of a sudden Kashchei opened his eyes and instantly aware of what was going down he unleashed his thunderous rage. "No one fucks with Kashchei! Nikto ne ebat so mnoj! Especially not whores and cocksuckers named Ivan! ", he screamed furiously, his appearance all the more frightening.
A few of the pushers vaguely percieved the tumult but were too stoned to ascertain the circumstances and retired, contented, to their state of inhaled bliss.
However, one of the girls knew about Kashchei´s Achilles´ heel; (ironically) that hard boiled Satanic, son-of-a-bitch, son-of-a-Hun was allergic. She managed to sneak out the back door in search of some kind of animal, preferably a cat or a dog. In a streetcorner lay a Dutch shepherd with orange fur and a puzzled look that became more puzzled as the girl picked him up and dashed back to "The House of Sin". The dog, friendly by nature, mistook Kashchei´s shouting and waving for an invitation to play and leaped up on his chest causing an immediate hypersensitive reaction, leaving the drug dealing pimp panting on the floor, Delft-blue in the face...
Ivan and the former 13 prostitues escaped and took the first available flight out of the country, whose destination happened to be Portugal. The heroic dog was quickly named "Lucifers" ("Fire" in Dutch) at the airport before checking into quarantine.
Ivan and company now live as suburban idiots, and love it, in a commune outside of Lisbon.
Mr Kashchei got arrested but avoided custody since drug dealing hardly ain´t a crime in the Netherlands anymore. He later moved to Copenhagen and became a politician. His pusher dudes are still wandering about the streets of Amsterdam in their purple haze...
Freak Kitchen - Letras
- (Saving Up For An) Anal Bleach
- A regular guy
- Alone With My Phone
- Appetizer
- Are You for Real ?
- Becky
- Black Spider Flag
- Blind
- Breathe
- Broken Food
- Bull
- Burning Bridges
- By The Weeping Willow
- Chest Pain Waltz
- Clean it Up
- Come Back To Comeback
- Come Before You Leave
- Confusion To The Enemy
- Damage
- Dead Soul Man
- Deus Salve o Baço
- Do Not Disturb
- Dystopia
- Entertain Me
- Everything Is Under Control
- Forgive Me, I'm Swedish
- Freak Of The Week
- Get A Life
- God Save the Spleen
- Goody Goody
- Guilt Trip
- Gun God
- Happening Henry
- Hateful Little People
- Haw, haw, haw
- Heal Me
- Heroin Breakfast
- Hide
- Hip Hip Hoorah
- Hollow
- Honey, You're a Nazy
- Humiliation Song
- I Don't Want To Golf
- I Refuse
- Independent Way Of Life
- Infidelity Ghost
- Inner Revolution
- Jerk
- Lie Freedom
- Lisa
- Logo
- Look Bored
- Maggots Of Corruption
- Mathematics Of Defeat
- Michael and the syndrome
- Middle Class Panic
- Morons
- Mr. Kashchei And The 13 Prostitutes
- Murder Groupie
- Mussolini Mind
- My new haircut
- Nobody's Laughing
- Now You Know
- Ok
- Once Upon A Time In Scandinavistan
- One Last Dance
- One Last Dance
- Only a Dream
- Pathetic Aesthetic
- Porno Daddy
- Private Property
- Professional Help
- Propaganda Pie
- Proud To Be Plastic
- Push Through
- Ranks Of The Terrified
- Raw
- Razor Flowers
- Så Kan Det Gå När Inte Haspen Är På
- Scattered
- See You In Pittsburgh
- Seven Days In June
- Shithead
- Sick (Death by Hypochondria)
- Silence
- Slap Me In The Face
- Sloppy
- Snap
- Sob Story
- Some Kind of Love Song
- Spanking Hour
- Speak When Spoken To
- Supermodel Baby
- Taste my Fist
- Teargas Jazz
- The Bitter Season
- The Era Of Anxiety
- The Healthy Man
- The Man Who Taught His Asshole To Play The Flute
- The Only Way
- The Rights To You
- The Sinking Planet
- The Smell of Time
- The Special Profession
- The Ugly Side Of Me
- The Wrong Year
- Tiny Little Second
- Troll
- Vaseline Bizniz
- Walls of Stupidity
- We Will Not Stand Down
- We've Heard It All Before
- What's The Problem
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